In my last blog post I talked about how forgiveness is like a time machine by virtue of it having the ability to heal generational negative patterns over time. But it is even more than that—it can be used as a vehicle to develop and enjoy greater faithfulness and freedom. As we use forgiveness as a wisdom tool in our lives knowing and activating its incredible power, we begin to move to a place where this feels natural and necessary for our own sense of peace. We learn the value of forgiveness in an experiential way. The more we forgive, the more access we have to uplifting momentum, helping us become who we are meant to become. We experience resilience; and a life balanced and flowing as it is meant to do.
Forgiveness. For "give-ness." There is our hint. We are giving to the Divine, to our selves and to the other. Forgiveness elegantly elucidates how releasing or processing our feelings in a healthy way is far superior than "going after" the person who hurt us. Being hurt can inflame the ego and if we are not careful, we can retaliate in a strong way, that later makes us (and likely the other) feel unhealthy. Let's say a child does something which violates the family values, going directly and purposefully against the guidelines or directives set for them. You may react in a way that is powerful and swift. In such moments, we are not always fully activating our logic or wisdom, reacting at the height of our emotions. Now, I'm not saying we should never have a negative feeling about someone hurting us, because feeling is a natural and normal experience. However, I am saying that it leaves everyone feeling better when we take time to process our emotions and then decide from a space of wisdom, rather than insult or pride, what—if anything, comes next and how "for give-ness" can bloom.
Forgiveness can also help us to separate ourselves from the act done against us as we surrender it to the Divine and choose to ask for help in letting go. You see, when we choose to judge or punish, there is now a weight on us: the weight of responsibility of taking action against a person. Even well established relationships can take a major hit from fire-y words and actions because they carry the potential to leave a mark that may never go away: no matter how many apologies are offered. Whether or not they "deserved it" is not the issue. What is, is the heaviness that comes after taking such retaliatory action which can become a difficult burden to bear. We may feel it. The perpetrator may feel it too. An extreme example I believe, although morbid, is why when a person shoots another dead they often follow that action by shooting themselves. The weight of this action is too great for the soul to bear. This is exactly why we want to invite in the divine deity we worship to take the responsibility and make the decisions for any judgement or punishment that may come, large or small.
Let's just say that no soul is required to bear that weighty responsibility. If we are inflamed by confusion, frustration, anger or disgust, we are in no mind to make decisions around judgement or punishment. We cannot expect ourselves to make the "best" decision because at that point we are likely seeking an outlet to discharge our own raw emotion, which feels uncomfortable! This is why leaving it in the hands of the Divine element is such a blessing. It blesses us, while giving the correct judgement or punishment (or not) to the other, which frankly is none of our business. We do not know what the Divine knows, nor can we be fully trusted to put ourselves in a position to hold the very sobering responsibility of punishing another. It is a weight we do not need to bear. Before you dismiss this idea remember, to err is human. So when you hurt someone, and indeed at some point in one way or another you will, take a moment to wonder if this is how you would like your error to be handled. Sometimes the truth is easier to see when we put our own feet in "those" shoes.
If you took the wisdom from understanding how forgiveness is a time machine, and now apply how inviting Divine wisdom helps one to avoid the burdensome weight of responsibility of judgement or punishment, you may begin to see how this has power to change our experience for the better. It is a wise use of humility that gives a higher view than the one we see in the height of negative emotion—a wiser choice for all concerned. It also becomes a bridge to a higher outcome. When we choose to step into these practices with deliberate intention, we build that bridge to more ease, resulting in a more natural sense of flow and lightness in our lives. Everyday. We will find ourselves moving forward with more joy yet without extra "weight" on our souls. And as well, without putting unnecessary weight on the souls of others. This is how practicing forgiveness brings greater faithfulness and freedom, opening us up to a much more beautiful, higher quality life experience.
Always for YOU,
Karen